And the brown ribbon goes to…

1 04 2010

Mother Teresa.

No kidding. While in Lancaster PA recently I had the (experience?) of attending a quilting show. I feel no less a man but learned a few things.

Quilting requires lots of time and patience.

Some quilts are very cool.

Some quilts look like crap. Be thankful this wasn’t posted at full resolution.

It was just as interesting looking at the attendees. Please let this guy be holding his wife’s bag.

More women attend gun shows than men attend quilting shows.

Believe it or not some folks didn’t want their quilts photographed. Excuse the hell out of me. I don’t plan on stealing your haphazard multicolored migraine inducing regurgitation and screen it onto shirts for fun & profit.

Moving right along: “Women’s Journey’s in Fiber”. Whatever makes those 10 pieces easy, I guess. Fiber will probably do the trick.

Apparently you can also place images on quilts. Scary images of children with their faces burnt half off and stern women who will give you nightmares of your elementary school librarian as you tuck in against the cold.

And don’t forget your quilted history lesson: today will be Egyptian Queens.

Personally I like the Egyptian chicks better in the Mummy movies, especially when they were fighting each other half naked with those pickle forks.

I would be severely freaked out by Nefertiti’s crazy red eye thing:

What nature theme would be complete without the Pied Piper of the Apes?

Back to the crowd: Look out for the Quilt Pimp…

My Dad though they were nuns. Really.

Click Here: The Hat

…that hat, with this shirt…

All right, enough of this foolishness. I need to wrap this up for now but stay tuned for the rest of the afternoon, some pics from Lancaster and the Lancaster Brewery…being patient at the quilt show was worth the reward.

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One response

3 04 2010
jomaj

Brilliant commentary, honest.

Truthful, shoot from the hip stuff is pretty rare, the QB’s (Quilt Bitches) will get you for sure, but you know what – tough.

I’m adding your blog to my bookmarks. Go forth and speak truth.

PS – greatest name for a blog EVER.

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